This city is such a small place that, if you are not feeling so happy with a person, you feel obligated to keep it quiet.
Or that's just me.
Probably just me.
When friends will scoff at your seriousness, because it is uncharacteristic. And perhaps because you tuck the sad gem into a happy facade, you're screwed anyway.
But its kind of more than that. I guess i'm hoping I can get out the feelings I wont tell people (that I know).

I'm having real problems with beauty these days.
When a guy you seems to talk constantly about beauty, and chicks he knows that are stunning, its a hard thing to live up to. Especially when you're not noticed.
And when you do get noticed, and you don't sleep with them, then you're swept off the board.
And I am being a unfair to him. I am sure he is not that shallow.
I'm just not shiny enough bait :)

But when i'm attracted to these kind of guys, I know nothing will work. Only too late though. Heh, typical.

I felt a bit vindictive (can you tell?), but settled for pretending I didn't/don't care. Sometimes I believe it. Sometimes and more times than that now, it is true. But it takes time I wish it wouldn't take.

Why are girls all looking the same these days? It's hard to recognise them as individuals. Why do they all buy from the same store, instead of making their own accessories that show a little flair? Why do they all wear the same makeup, and style themselves exactly the same as everyone else?
It almost seems like guys have a demographic that can be controlled through liking or disliking. (Note I don't say 'love').

I shouldn't turn this around. It didn't work out or turn in to anything, and it isn't my fault. I don't have to do anything. And I like being contrary too much anyway...

And I have a feeling I didn't encourage him enough.